my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
