I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
