David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
