Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
