somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
