so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
