I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
