oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize