just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
