and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
