Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Come on in and take your pants off
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
