I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
