I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize