What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
