she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Life is so much better after having sex.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Randomize
