You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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