we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
