Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
