I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize