I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
