Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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