What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
