The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
