the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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