we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
