Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
