True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
