I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
