just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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