Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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