We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
