dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
