i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
