Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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