I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize