Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
