me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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