Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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