im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
