better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
