but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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