for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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