saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
