I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
