U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
