she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
