I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
