i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
