Life is so much better after having sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
