my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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