oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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