help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
