He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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