like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
