everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
