Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
