Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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