oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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