I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
