Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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