I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
